:D (oh_i_know22) wrote in philistine_fiat,

This turned out a bit long... but hey wahtevers

Here is my story- there are lots of typos and its a bit cheesy...

In the white washed box of an interrogation room the police chief sighed. This was not going according to schedule as he had hoped. Not at all. The good news being that the bank thief was caught and willing to talk to the police. A simple confession would be nice, confirming the bank’s poor quality surveillance tapes. The bad news- the thief seems to have a second personality. Frustrated, the lieutenant banged his fists on the table. “Just confess already! We have you on tape robbing the bank! We’ve been here all day” Lt Plater was not a patient man. “All right, all right calm down Lt.” began the police chief. “So tell us again just how you saved the bank” he finished with a stern gaze. “Well for one thing- I didn’t steal anything.” The criminal stated point blankly. She was an average looking teenager hair hidden behind a baseball cap. “So how do you explain the 50,000 dollars WE SAW YOU STEAL” the lt demanded. “Can I just start from the beginning? And no interruptions,” she said turning to the Lt. “its very distracting.” “Fine, fine. Lets just get this over with.” The police chief said.

                “So I was just walking along minding my own business, headed to the WSFS [holler Delaware!] to cash a check. So I walk in the store and some jerk shoves me as he walks out. I was slightly miffed- but whatever. Then I see this crazee using some sort of skill to fling objects around the room without touching them. I knew that it was up to me to save the civilians and the bank!” “Can you believe this character? Such theatrics.” “No interruptions I believe she said.” “So anyway, I put on my soulja boy shades and when I do that, I get into this mood where I have an alter ego by the name of Coolio. When im Coolio, I have the ability to use rap as a weapon.” “Well that’s a new one. Who ever heard of rapping as a super power.” “No for real deal. When I rap it has some sort of frequency or beat that throws the target into confusion. So I rapped- it went something like this ‘hey you, yeah you dude that’s” “Please stop. No demonstrations, you’re no Snoop dog.” “Alright whatever, so anyway, the perpetrator suddenly put their hands over his ears and dropped the cash at the same time relieasing the employees. That’s when you guys arrived.” “Wow. That was…entertaining.” Said the police chief with a chuckle. “but the facts are- in the video there is no rapper. Only a thief who looks a whole lot like you.” “No that’s not possible! I totally schooled that fool! Im telling you, I am a hero!” “You’re no hero. You’re just another lousy criminal bum who doesn’t deserve our time.” Said the lietenatn. Upon hearing this insult, she twisted her head and the chief noticed a change in attitude. “What did you just say to me Lt?” she demanded forcefully. “Youre a lousy excuse of a human”

                Then, with no warning whatsoever, the table was pushed backwards into the wall pinning the chief and the lieutenant against the wall. Too winded to speak, the chief and the lieutenant watched in awe as the keys to the handcuffs moved off his belt and floated in the air landing in the lock of the handcuffs. The key turned and unlocked the handcuffs. “That’s better,” she said, rubbing her wrists “and yes, I did rob the bank.” And with that she walked through the door. Aware of the sudden threat, the detectives watching in the viewing window alerted the other officers. But as police officers came at her with guns, they were surprised to find their weapons floating in the air and cabinets and desks seemingly moving of their own will to block the passageways. And so Fumika walked out of the police department unscathed- both hero and villain. Or perhaps neither.


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